How do you come back from coming in last?

Hey, Alls! What’s up with your bad selves?

I’ll tell you what’s up here.

It feels like a lot has happened since I last checked in, and yet everything is still pretty much the same.

1. I still haven’t lost any weight.

2. My foot still hurts.

3. I’m still the suckiest runner that ever sucked (more about that in a tick).

And yet:

1. I SWAM! TWICE! Holy hell, is swimming hard. On the plus side, I got really excellent flip flops to wear to and from the pool.

2. I started a new weight training program (I’m using this book. I know, it’s extremely….early ’00s?? But it totally works. At least it did when I followed the program 7 years ago).

3. I received my orthotics from my podiatrist and am breaking them in. And yet, see #2 in the “nothing’s changed” category.

I came in last in a race last night. Wow. That was actually painful to type. The humiliation of it was just….well. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Here’s how it went down.  An acquaintance of mine told me about this neighborhood 5K that a friend of his was organizing. There were only a few people signed up and he was trying to spread the word and increase registration. The irony is that he mentioned the possibility of me placing since there were so few people registered. Ha.

I never once thought that was even a remote possibility. I’ve done neighborhood races before and I see how the “elite” runners in the area sign up on race day and dominate. I don’t begrudge them that. They’re incredible runners. People can sign up on race day. And to be honest, most people who run on a regular basis are probably faster than I am even if they don’t run 7 minute miles. So it goes. My point is, I absolutely knew that there would be many more people participating on race day and that I would most likely be close to the back of the pack. I can honestly say, however, that I never expected to come in last.

I started the race too fast. I know that. I was running with my friend who is way faster than I am and even though she was running slow for me, it wasn’t quite slow enough and I was out of breath before we hit a quarter mile when I told her to go and run the race at her pace. Even so, I made it through the first mile and change feeling relatively strong. Then I hit a pathetically early wall. My breathing was off, my legs ached, and I just had to take a walk break. It wasn’t a long one, but it was apparently long enough. Or maybe it was the second walk break that did it. Or the third. Or the fourth.

Suffice to say it was not the best run ever and somewhere around the beginning of Mile 3 I started to get the sinking feeling that no one was behind me. And I was right.

I’m kind of devastated. Intellectually, I know that what should matter is that I finished and I actually finished two minutes faster than my last 5K. But emotionally, viscerally, I’m so mortified and horrified that I’m really having a hard time figuring out how I can bounce back from this, and bounce back I must. Quickly. Because the other thing that happened is that I signed up for the PAWS Run For Their Lives 8K on September 23. So I’m left asking myself: how the shit am I going to run 5 miles when I can’t even manage 3?!

I would like to end this post on a positive note. I committed to raising at least $100 for PAWS for this race and within less than 24 hours I had raised almost $300. I have the best friends ever.



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3 responses to “How do you come back from coming in last?

  1. Rena

    Jim said he will run with yoi…then you wont be last. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Getting Back On The Horse | Whine Or Win

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