Monthly Archives: August 2012


I come up with the best posting titles. Ha.

1. I chose not to go workout this morning. I felt like I needed a rest day after yesterday’s rest day, also I haven’t been feeling so well in the tummy, also I figured I would make up for it by trying to take The Puppy on a run outside later. And then I realized it was raining.


2. Did you know that 1 tablespoon of maple syrup is 2 Weight Watcher’s points?!

syrup devil 1

I tried Carrots ‘n’ Cake’s two ingredient pancake this morning and while I read her instructions for achieving a more attractive pancake carefully, my efforts failed and I ended up with 3 mini mutant pancakes. They were still delicious, especially with a little sunflower butter and ridiculously fattening syrup.

3. Our 5th anniversary is tomorrow and every year we take a few days off together and knock around the city. I typically make a relatively fancy meal  to kick off our “staycation” (I kinda hate that word), which includes a better than $10 bottle of wine, usually duck breasts with some kind of crazy sauce, a side dish, and this ridiculous bread pudding. Seriously. Just go make it now and get it over with. It is probably the least healthy thing you will eat all year and every bite is heaven.

4. The Puppy has been on a rampage and left in his wake a line of trauma patients.

soldiers awaiting surgery

That hedgehog off to the left is the latest in a string of hedgehog casualties. We call him Shiny Norman 2.

hedgehog style

Pictured above from left to right:

Shiny Norman 2, Shiny Norman 1, and Spiny Norman, The Puppy’s original Best Frienemy.


That there is a TINY The Puppy with Spiny Norman. It took him way longer to do serious damage to his friends at that age.

Now he can do this in a matter of seconds.

hedgehog amputee

The humanity.


That’s one adorable tyrant.

I may get all crazy later and post pictures of the food I make. Or not.


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Or Fail/Win? Not sure yet.

YESTERDAY’S WORKOUT (haven’t posted one of THOSE in awhile)

Upper body workout (with some adjustments) from this book.

25 minutes in the pool which resulted in swimming 500 yards.

20 minute walk with The Puppy.

I’m getting better at the swimming thing. I actually stick my entire face in the water when I do the freestyle stroke. I do still have to stop half way through a length to sputter and clear the water from my nose, but I can now start back up again almost immediately and finish the length with hardly a break. WIN! I didn’t have a ton of time after my upper body workout, so I cut my swim a bit short (yes, I’m VERY slow). Also, there were a ton of people pouring into the pool area and I’m terrified of someone trying to share a lane with me since I flail my arms around and kick wildly like the rotten swimmer I am, so I got the heck out of there while I still had a little dignity. Flailing? Definitely a FAIL.

I first encountered The Jump Off: 60 Days To A Hip-Hop Hard Body by Mark Jenkins about 7 and a half years ago. I can’t remember if it was Fitness Magazine or Glamour, but one of them ran a story on Jenkin’s then new book and it looked like something I could handle, so I gave it a shot. They only published a few exercising for the lower body portion of the workout and I didn’t even do all of them. Amazingly, after about a month of doing the routine 3 times a week, I noticed that my thighs were actually looking smaller, my backside was looking higher, rounder, and firmer, and even my then-boyfriend (now husband) started commenting on the transformation. NOTHING had working to tighten my tush since I quit figure skating when I was 14. I stopped doing the routine when I moved in with The Boy and I lost the workout pages in the move. I couldn’t remember the name of the book OR the author and my reference fu had completely failed me in my attempts to locate any mention of the article online. Then suddenly this year I remembered it. Kind of out of the blue. And my library had one of the only copies of the book that exist in our library system. I decided that since I’ve been too much of a wuss to try New Rules Of Lifting For Women I would go back to what had worked before.

I’ve been doing the routines consistently for about two weeks, and I’m already noticing a difference. Now, I weigh a bit more than I did back in 2004/2005, so I don’t expect the results to be as dramatic, but I’m excited.

I’ll keep you posted!

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A Breath Of Fresh Snarky Goodness

I love this show.

Anyone else out there a Happy Endings fan? By the way, I suggest you NOT Google that without some kind of accompanying keywords for context. Better yet, just look it up on IMDB. I was skeptical at first. I simply couldn’t imagine Elisha Cuthbert with comedy chops but surprisingly, she’s one of the best things about the show. If you haven’t ever seen it, imagine Friends crossed with It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (which is grotesquely awesome, if you’ve never experienced it).

Weirdly, one of the things I like about the show is that it kind of motivates me to exercise. I think it must be because the characters are so competitive with each other that the plot often revolves around feats of strength or some kind of sport activity. And that, of course, makes me want to get my fitness on.

Which is what I’m planning for tomorrow morning. Swimming, upper body workout, and possibly biking to work.

Fingers crossed that I actually hear the alarm!

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Getting Back On The Horse

In the never-ending quest to bring balance and fulfillment to my chaotic life, every once in awhile I do what I call “hitting the reset button.” I’m pretty sure other people call it this as well, but for the purposes of me, I’m owning it. Recently I’ve been running into a few walls/challenges/can’t wannas in most of the major areas of my life and I have therefore once again hit the reset button on the following:

1. Fitness/Running

2. Nutrition

3. Work

4. Home

5. Intellectual Stimulation



I have somehow managed to bounce back from my dismal showing in the last 5K I ran. I threw myself a big ol’ pity party for a day or so and then realized that I didn’t actually like feeling sorry for myself and that I actually had to work at feeling bad about myself. It was a kind of weird moment of self awareness. I seemed to think simultaneously, I SUCK SO HARD and also, WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF IT’S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL AND ALSO I FINISHED THE DAMN RACE ISN’T THAT A GOOD THING??? Yes, it was one big all-caps run on sentence going on in my head. I’m choosing to not feel bad about that either. Somehow, I managed to crawl out of my own ass long enough to have a couple of really good runs. Since I’m participating in a 8K at the end of September, I decided to follow Hal Higdon’s training plan and start from the end of week 2. I’ve done every run (almost – I had to stop a mile and a half into a 2 mile run last week because I started getting light headed. Hey, look! Another thing I’m choosing to not feel bad about!) and have felt really good and strong about each one. I’ve decided that I don’t really like running outside all that much, so I figured I would do my during-the-week runs at the gym on the track which (will also enable me to work on my strength training program) and then I’ll do my long run during the weekend outside. I’ve been doing pretty well with keeping up on the strength and cross training too, so I’m taking this opportunity to pat myself on the back. Good job, me.


Oh, weight loss. Why are you so elusive? Well, I really do know why. It’s because I eat like crap even if I think I don’t. Am I recording everything I eat? No. Why not? Because it’s too much work. Here’s a little piece of wisdom I’m sharing with myself: If it’s that difficult to record it, then there’s TOO MUCH TO RECORD. Yeesh. It’s that simple, really. Stop eating a bunch of crappy stuff that makes me feel crappy and start eating stuff that makes me feel good. Eventually, I will look good. Period.


I spend way too much time stressing about work stuff. I’m so much better at this than I used to be, but there is still a lot of room for improvement. I made a bit of headway this Sunday when I decided to not make an elaborate cake for my boss’s birthday. I’ll probably still make the cake and bring it in at some point, but I’ll do it when I want to.



This includes a couple of things. First up, there’s housekeeping. I’m a pretty clean person, but that has not been evident by the state of my house lately. It’s one of those “can’t wannas.” I can’t wanna dust. Can’t wanna do laundry. Can’t wanna put that carton of almond milk back in the refrigerator. It seems like every task is insurmountable. I’ve decided that the solution is to get to a place where I’m maintaining and not doing deep, intensive cleaning every month or so. To that end, I will be tackling a room in my house every day of the week, Monday through Friday. I’m only going to take 15-20 minutes to clean, so that should be totally doable. I’ve already started this week and am pretty happy with the results. That should help with the other part of the equation. I’m definitely NOT neat. I really kind of hate to put things away (they’re so much less conveniently located that way). But when things are orderly, my head feels orderly. I feel much more relaxed which means that I can enjoy the things at home that matter, like The Boy and The Puppy. I feel like when I spend time with my guys I’m always thinking about something else that I should be doing. That is going to stop. I want to enjoy every second I have with them to the best of my ability.

Intellectual Stimulation

I am desperately worried about becoming intellectually stagnant. The Boy is SO good at doing a crap ton of research on things he watches and reads and listens to and really internalizes and thinks critically about things. He is an active reader, watcher and listener. I take it in, think about it a bit, discuss it with him maybe, but then I forget about it. Literally. Like, sometimes he’ll reference a movie we watched together and I will not recall ever seeing the movie at all. Besides being a bit scary, it’s frustrating. I’ll be doing some research to see how I can try to retain what I take in a bit better. I know I would enjoy things more if I could think about them later and actually recall details.

Whew! That’s a lot of resets. There are, of course, other areas of my life I need to work on, like seeing friends and family more often. I’m going to start with these, though, and see how it goes.

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How do you come back from coming in last?

Hey, Alls! What’s up with your bad selves?

I’ll tell you what’s up here.

It feels like a lot has happened since I last checked in, and yet everything is still pretty much the same.

1. I still haven’t lost any weight.

2. My foot still hurts.

3. I’m still the suckiest runner that ever sucked (more about that in a tick).

And yet:

1. I SWAM! TWICE! Holy hell, is swimming hard. On the plus side, I got really excellent flip flops to wear to and from the pool.

2. I started a new weight training program (I’m using this book. I know, it’s extremely….early ’00s?? But it totally works. At least it did when I followed the program 7 years ago).

3. I received my orthotics from my podiatrist and am breaking them in. And yet, see #2 in the “nothing’s changed” category.

I came in last in a race last night. Wow. That was actually painful to type. The humiliation of it was just….well. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Here’s how it went down.  An acquaintance of mine told me about this neighborhood 5K that a friend of his was organizing. There were only a few people signed up and he was trying to spread the word and increase registration. The irony is that he mentioned the possibility of me placing since there were so few people registered. Ha.

I never once thought that was even a remote possibility. I’ve done neighborhood races before and I see how the “elite” runners in the area sign up on race day and dominate. I don’t begrudge them that. They’re incredible runners. People can sign up on race day. And to be honest, most people who run on a regular basis are probably faster than I am even if they don’t run 7 minute miles. So it goes. My point is, I absolutely knew that there would be many more people participating on race day and that I would most likely be close to the back of the pack. I can honestly say, however, that I never expected to come in last.

I started the race too fast. I know that. I was running with my friend who is way faster than I am and even though she was running slow for me, it wasn’t quite slow enough and I was out of breath before we hit a quarter mile when I told her to go and run the race at her pace. Even so, I made it through the first mile and change feeling relatively strong. Then I hit a pathetically early wall. My breathing was off, my legs ached, and I just had to take a walk break. It wasn’t a long one, but it was apparently long enough. Or maybe it was the second walk break that did it. Or the third. Or the fourth.

Suffice to say it was not the best run ever and somewhere around the beginning of Mile 3 I started to get the sinking feeling that no one was behind me. And I was right.

I’m kind of devastated. Intellectually, I know that what should matter is that I finished and I actually finished two minutes faster than my last 5K. But emotionally, viscerally, I’m so mortified and horrified that I’m really having a hard time figuring out how I can bounce back from this, and bounce back I must. Quickly. Because the other thing that happened is that I signed up for the PAWS Run For Their Lives 8K on September 23. So I’m left asking myself: how the shit am I going to run 5 miles when I can’t even manage 3?!

I would like to end this post on a positive note. I committed to raising at least $100 for PAWS for this race and within less than 24 hours I had raised almost $300. I have the best friends ever.


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