Ran ~1.75 miles; Walked 1 and change, total approx. 42 mins

Biked 6 miles, approx. 35 mins

Today was a good day. At least exercise wise, that is. Otherwise, it was pretty okay too.

I have been waiting for a good run, anticipating that it will come eventually, if I keep at it long enough. While it didn’t feel easy, it felt GREAT. I think I actually ran a bit more than 1.75 miles, but I’ll round down, just to be safe.

I know that I’m not alone when I say that it’s difficult to predict the conditions that will make for a good run and today wasn’t much different, except that the weather this morning was fantastic. It was probably around 65* which to me is (apparently) pretty much perfect. My foot didn’t hurt too much before or after and I had no *ahem* tummy issues.

I wasn’t sure if I would bike to work today as I was hosting a meeting for area librarians and wanted to look halfway decent, but in the end I decided that biking to work makes me feel too damn good to pass up the opportunity.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I look for in exercise. Since I’ve been engaging in some form of exercise at least 3 times a week (usually more) very consistently for the last year and a half and haven’t lost a pound, it seems pretty clear that weight loss can’t be what is motivating me. When I run — even when it’s not a great run — I feel a mental and emotional release and my mind clears. I don’t get that when I’m on the elliptical. In fact, I’m SOOO bored on the elliptical that I dread the thought of using it. I also don’t get the same feeling after exercising with a cardio DVD. While I enjoy yoga, I’m not confident enough in my ability to do the poses correctly to “let go” and allow myself to get to that happy exercise place. I do get it with biking, though. Obviously, I need to do that more often.

I’m left thinking about what I can do when the weather doesn’t allow for either running outside or biking, or on those days when I should take a rest from running. Which brings me to my next fitness odyssey. I’m going to try swimming.

I can’t remember the last time I swam for fitness. I know that I can do it. I used to be a pretty decent swimmer. I’ll have to do some prep work, however, as I can’t remember the last time I owned a one piece suit and I’ll have to don the research cap once again to find some beginner’s workouts. Of course, the other obstacle is actually putting on a swimsuit in public.

I actively hate my body. I’m not proud of my body and I’m even less proud of how I feel about it. After a talk with a good friend and another talk with my therapist (yay, therapists!) I decided, however, that it’s time I start thinking about what my body can do and less about how it looks.

My plan is to acquire a proper suit, swim cap, and goggles and go for one swim next week. Just one.

I can do this.


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